Mother of None
I want to start by saying this is my first blog, so if it seems remedial..well it probably is.
I have four children and I am a mother of none.
How can that be, you ask..
Well let me start from the beginning, I warn you now this is not a pretty story.
I have been a mother since the ripe old age of 15, and a drug addict since the age of 10.
I tried to do the best that I could with what I had and in the end it wasn't good enough.
My drug addiction started with marijuana and quickly escalated to harder drugs (LSD, pills, cocaine, meth, etc.)
I smoked, snorted, and injected for many years. I feed my kids, clothed them, and spent time with them, I thought I was a fairly good mother. I was wrong...
One night while I was high my youngest daughter (9 at the time) told me that her brothers(aged 13 and 15) had been molesting her and her 11 year old sister. I freaked out!!! to say the least. What had gone wrong, what was I to do? I couldn't let this just be ignored, I was molested as a child and I knew how they must feel. So, I did the only thing that I felt I could do. I called the sheriffs department and reported it to them. What happened next blew my mind. I was told that they couldn't do anything until Monday..OMG this is so wrong "What do you mean you can't do anything until Monday, A serious crime has been committed here." I was told to calm down mam' and call back on Monday. Needless to say that was the longest weekend of my life. On one hand I loved my sons, on the other I wanted to hurt them.
Monday finally came and I was then told all that could be done was that the case would be put on docket and heard later that week. When it finally was heard my daughter had to be examined and the boys got sent to juvenile detention for less than 6 months. My mother who would not believe me as a child when I told her that not one of her husbands , but two of them had molested me was furious with me. "How could you do this to those boys" she yelled " I don't believe they did this" ,"This is a family matter not a court matter" To this day I believe I did the right thing by calling the police.
My story doesn't end there it gets more bizarre. My mother called CPS and told them that she didn't believe her grandsons did anything to my daughters "It must have been their dad" That's all it took for CPS to go to school, pick up my daughters and remove them from my home. When the girls were asked about their grandmothers accusations they told the case worker that their dad never touched them and that it was their brothers. Cort carried on in this matter for almost a year. The judge finally said " If these parents aren't going to be charged with anything then return these kids to their home" It was the happiest day of my life. My girls came home that day and for the next few weeks we worked on repairing our family. It was short lived, warrants were issued charging my husband with sexual abuse and me with complicity, the girls were removed once again. This went on for another 6 to 8 months until the judged decided there was no evidence of sexual abuse by the father but due to our drug addiction and the fact that our boys did molest their sisters we were convicted of assault under extreme emotional distress. Pretty much that means because we were addicts it was our fault. We were both sentenced to 2 years in prison and our parental rights were removed, but not on the boys just the girls. Sound weird? well it did to me Why were my rights taken on just part of my kids. Why were my boys never removed from my house (at this time they were out of detention and placed back in my home) I was told it was my obligation as a parent to take them back in. While in prison I got clean and have been for almost four years now, their father is clean as well. My boys have grown up and now are age 22 and 20 and they both have charmed lives with wives and a child each. As for my girls, one was adopted and the other is in foster care. I am not allowed to contact them at all. My life has been turned upside down because I did what I thought was the right thing to do and report the abuse. CPS never tried to help me, no rehab, parenting classes, or counseling offered or recommended. I did all of that on my own.
I don't even know if anyone will read this I just wanted to get it all out. If you did read this thank you for your time. Comment on it if you want to..
I want to start by saying this is my first blog, so if it seems remedial..well it probably is.
I have four children and I am a mother of none.
How can that be, you ask..
Well let me start from the beginning, I warn you now this is not a pretty story.
I have been a mother since the ripe old age of 15, and a drug addict since the age of 10.
I tried to do the best that I could with what I had and in the end it wasn't good enough.
My drug addiction started with marijuana and quickly escalated to harder drugs (LSD, pills, cocaine, meth, etc.)
I smoked, snorted, and injected for many years. I feed my kids, clothed them, and spent time with them, I thought I was a fairly good mother. I was wrong...
One night while I was high my youngest daughter (9 at the time) told me that her brothers(aged 13 and 15) had been molesting her and her 11 year old sister. I freaked out!!! to say the least. What had gone wrong, what was I to do? I couldn't let this just be ignored, I was molested as a child and I knew how they must feel. So, I did the only thing that I felt I could do. I called the sheriffs department and reported it to them. What happened next blew my mind. I was told that they couldn't do anything until Monday..OMG this is so wrong "What do you mean you can't do anything until Monday, A serious crime has been committed here." I was told to calm down mam' and call back on Monday. Needless to say that was the longest weekend of my life. On one hand I loved my sons, on the other I wanted to hurt them.
Monday finally came and I was then told all that could be done was that the case would be put on docket and heard later that week. When it finally was heard my daughter had to be examined and the boys got sent to juvenile detention for less than 6 months. My mother who would not believe me as a child when I told her that not one of her husbands , but two of them had molested me was furious with me. "How could you do this to those boys" she yelled " I don't believe they did this" ,"This is a family matter not a court matter" To this day I believe I did the right thing by calling the police.
My story doesn't end there it gets more bizarre. My mother called CPS and told them that she didn't believe her grandsons did anything to my daughters "It must have been their dad" That's all it took for CPS to go to school, pick up my daughters and remove them from my home. When the girls were asked about their grandmothers accusations they told the case worker that their dad never touched them and that it was their brothers. Cort carried on in this matter for almost a year. The judge finally said " If these parents aren't going to be charged with anything then return these kids to their home" It was the happiest day of my life. My girls came home that day and for the next few weeks we worked on repairing our family. It was short lived, warrants were issued charging my husband with sexual abuse and me with complicity, the girls were removed once again. This went on for another 6 to 8 months until the judged decided there was no evidence of sexual abuse by the father but due to our drug addiction and the fact that our boys did molest their sisters we were convicted of assault under extreme emotional distress. Pretty much that means because we were addicts it was our fault. We were both sentenced to 2 years in prison and our parental rights were removed, but not on the boys just the girls. Sound weird? well it did to me Why were my rights taken on just part of my kids. Why were my boys never removed from my house (at this time they were out of detention and placed back in my home) I was told it was my obligation as a parent to take them back in. While in prison I got clean and have been for almost four years now, their father is clean as well. My boys have grown up and now are age 22 and 20 and they both have charmed lives with wives and a child each. As for my girls, one was adopted and the other is in foster care. I am not allowed to contact them at all. My life has been turned upside down because I did what I thought was the right thing to do and report the abuse. CPS never tried to help me, no rehab, parenting classes, or counseling offered or recommended. I did all of that on my own.
I don't even know if anyone will read this I just wanted to get it all out. If you did read this thank you for your time. Comment on it if you want to..
